Class will be meeting next Sunday, April 28.
Last time, we studied Chapter 11: Dating with Purpose and Purity. Some important points:
- The purpose of dating is to find a spouse.
- This means that anytime you go on a date with someone, you keep that end in mind and consider whether that person would make a good spouse for you.
- It also means that it makes no sense to date someone that you would definitely not consider marrying.
- The modern "norm" of dating for recreation loses sight of the actual purpose of dating and instead treats it as a form of entertainment.
- It hurts rather than helps one's chances of entering a happy marriage in several ways:
- By focusing on recreation, it encourages an attitude of viewing dates largely in terms of their ability to provide pleasure.
- It places feelings over facts so that the couple is more likely to stay together for the wrong reasons.
- By encouraging intimacy too quickly, it actually hinders getting to know the other person as a person.
- If the dating couple sleeps together, they have demonstrated to each other a willingness to engage in sex outside of marriage. This undermines both trust and faithfulness.
- Couples who are unchaste before marriage also increase their odds of divorce.
- This is NOT an exhaustive list.
- Being friends first before even considering dating is an intelligent approach that has many advantages.
- Most basically, it allows you to get to know the person as a person, without pressure.
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- You are likely to be more open and honest with each other so that you both get to know the real person, not just the public personality.
- It allows you to then select someone to date that you know will be a good match for your personality, interests, and so forth.
- The "friend date" is a good option.
- Friendships with members of the opposite sex helps us to see them as brothers or sisters in Christ -- as persons with dignity. It's healthy and helpful because it teaches us to see the person rightly, and so frees us to love.
- Students should be able to distinguish between healthy and unhealthy dating relationships, and list strategies to avoid situations that could compromise their purity (see p 169).
- Purity and chastity protect the great gift of sexuality and the dignity of persons involved in a relationship. This is the opposite of prudishness, which views sexuality as bad / dirty.
- In trying to live up to the high ideal of pure love, as with any aspect of the Christian life, we will fail from time to time. The secret is then to get up and try again. Jesus gave us Confession and the other sacraments because he knows we need them!
- I'll send separate emails about the break-out sessions for boys and girls.
Quotes to ponder:
“Only the chaste person is capable of true love.” – Pope St. John Paul II
“Chastity is the sure way to happiness.” – Pope St. John Paul II
“A home is not warmed by the fire of pleasure which burns quickly like a pile of withered grass. Passing encounters are only a caricature of love.” – Pope St. John Paul II
“Love ... is victorious because it prays.” – Pope St. John Paul II
At home assignment:
Please read and discuss "Digging Deeper" on p. 172-3, and "Science and the Theology of the Body" on p. 174. Also, read the appropriate section of "Live it out: Modesty" on p. 175.
If you missed missed class or want to review:
Read TOB for Teens, Chapter 11, pages 159-169. Pause to answer questions on p. 163, 166, 167, and 169. Also see the assignment above.
Resources:
- Christian Courtship in an Oversexed World by Rev. T.J. Morrow (newer edition is entitled Christian Dating in a Godless World)
- Emotional Virtue: A Guide to Drama-Free Relationships by Sarah Swafford
Future class dates
April 28 - Why not Pornography? Porn Kills Love
May 12 - TOB Chapter 12: Living the Good (and Free!) Life.
May 26 - Final Wrap Up
Happy Easter!